Freedom and teaching kids how-to navigate the world can make any parent stay-up late at night fretting.  From the beginning of my parenting career I have let natural consequences be our disciple.  I hardly baby-proofed, partly because of sure laziness and partly because I saw no real dangers.  So, Tristan bonked his head on the coffee table or pulled down all our books, everyday, but I saw that as a teachable moment.  


Tristan doesn't spend much time pulling down the books from the bookshelf anymore, but he does forget his lunch occasionally and I try really hard not to drop his lunch box at school.  And he has learned; don't forget my lunch and if I forget my lunch I can just buy lunch at the cafeteria. Now, Tristan wants a little more freedom.  Honestly, I think he might be ready, but am I?  


Drum roll, please.  Tristan's big adventure.  His dream of all dreams, is to scooter to the Dunkin Donuts about a block from our house and buy a chocolate glazed donut.  He would not have to cross any roads and would stay on the wide sidewalk.  He would have to navigate the parking lot and car repair driveway.  But the major sticking point for me is that Dunkin Donuts resides on the busiest road in our town.  It is not like Tristan will jump into the road and fly in front of a car, but it makes me nervous.


Like all mothers faced with a difficult parenting dilemma I have talked to my friends and I hit the parenting section at my local bookstore.  I just began reading Free Range Kids and I must say, I love it.   But with any general parenting book I need to adopt the ideas I like and craft them to work for Tristan who has autism.  I will keep you posted on how I adapt and figure out ways to teach Tristan more independence.  

Often I feel sometimes I parent not only my three children but also my husband.  As a modern feminist, mother, and professional, I cringe every time I have to remind my kids and my husband about the bedtime routine or that when I am not here— yes, the children do need lunch and yes again, at lunch time, not 3:00 in the afternoon.  And lunch is not an optional service given sometimes, but all the time… you must remember to feed the growing offspring.
  
I am the keeper of all information.  Whether it is which child eats what food, or what time bedtime is, or the school bus schedule, I know all.  It is too much information for one person to hold in their brain, but I know many (OK, all) my friends are the keeper of their family’s information, too.  And it is beginning to startle me.  I mean me— modern, feminist mother, not the practical me, the one that thinks, “OK, fine I am better at organizing which kid has which teacher and such.”  But, weren’t we promised a better deal by the feminist before us— equal to men, right?

So, then why do we organize and hold all the information for the family on top of our professional lives and mothering.  I am not sure we are equals, maybe almost equal pay (if you have no children, according to the National Organization for Women), but what about the other stuff.  As I look around at myself and my friends I see many women juggling relationships, mothering, work, volunteering, crazy work-out schedules (to stay healthy and young), cooking, cleaning, and childcare along with holding all the information.  This might just be recipe for burn-out.  OK, fathers out there, I challenge you to know who your kid’s doctor is, call to make a yearly check-up, then mark-it on the calendar, and take your kid to the appointment.  Baby steps, right?

School begins in two days and as last fun adventure the boys and I took a day trip north about an hour to Shelburne Farms.  To get out to the Children’s Farm Yard we took the hay ride.  While bouncing around the back of the wagon I noticed a family with two boys; the youngest, maybe no older that three years old, showed some developmental delay.  He sat, then stood, and then sat again all while talking gibberish toward his parent’s direction.
  
Oh how I remember the days of gibberish.  Tristan talked gibberish with some actual words inserted through out the long strings of sounds.  Now, I guess, gibberish has been replaced by what we call “movie talk”, which is mostly a monologue of a movie summary that interests Tristan.   The difference now is that Tristan can also fully communicate with others and movie talk is just a small piece. 
  
As I watched the boy go through what seemed to be a routine of up and down with a little gibberish sprinkle here and there, his parents smiled at each other like, oh this is him and will we survive the next few hours.  I wanted to reach across the aisle of the wagon and say, “It gets better… maybe easier… or perhaps you will get use-to it.”  But, are those the right words.  Does it get easier or are you more adjusted?  I don’t know, in some ways, yes it has gotten easier.  Tristan communicates (big, one), no more escaping and running away (another big, one), and no more hurting or squeezing cheeks (I am still waiting for an explanation to this one).  But, now we are tackling social issues and not getting non-verbal cues which can be just as tough to teach as how-to talk.
  
As the wagon pulled into the Children’s Farm Yard, I thought this jig of parenting is tough work, but with every step— a smile here, a meaningful conversation there, we get to participate in growing and forming a child into an adult.

OK, so maybe this should be a cooking blog, except cooking and motherhood blend together just like chocolate, tomatoes, chili powder, and chipotal dried jalapeno peppers.

Today I stocked my refrigerator with homemade tortillas.  The recipe and technique was requested, so here you are...

The recipe:

• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon sugar
• 1 tablespoon butter (unsalted or European lightly salted)
• 1/2 cup warm water (a tad more if needed)

The technique:
Sifted all dry ingredients into to a bowl.  Cut in pieces of butter and mix with a mixer or fork until corn meal consistency.  Add water and mix until dough is formed.  If more water is needed add one drop at a time, so the dough doesn't become to sticky.  If too sticky add more flour.  Knead for 3 minutes and let rise in a cover bowl for 30 minutes.

Heat a cast iron skillet (my favorite) or regular sauté pan over medium heat.  Break the dough into 10-12 pieces.  **Roll out each dough piece into a rough circle and one-by-one place into the hot skillet.  Flip to other side when the edges of the tortilla begin to brown.

Eat immediately or store in a zipped plastic bag or foil in the refrigerator.  Reheat in oven (300 degrees) before serving. 


I can just eat these fresh off the skillet with butter.  They nothing like store bought tortillas.

** My time-saver trick-- I roll-out one piece of dough and place it into the hot skillet, then while that one is cooking I roll-out the next.

This recipe is not difficult to make, but you will trick your pickiest eaters.  Enjoy!  Preheat oven to 350.  Lightly butter brownie pan.

In a bowl combine:

• 2 cups flour
• 1/2 cup good quality unsweetened coco
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt

In a large bowl combine:

• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 2 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 cups shredded zucchini

Combine wet ingredients then add dry ingredients to the wet.  Pour into butter brownie pan and bake for 40-45 minutes for a 9x9 baking pan.  If you use a larger pan decrease the time to 20-25 minutes. 


Frosting
Blend:

• 6 tablespoons good quality coco
• 1/4 cup butter
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

As summer winds down I am thinking about school.  Not Dylan beginning kindergarten or Liam starting a new preschool or Tristan and his transition back to school.  These days I am sitting by the pool watching my three children dive under water  and spending some brain energy on a spring meeting I attended on inclusion and how-to create a more inclusive community for people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).  

Everyone, people with ASD, parents, professionals, lawmakers, and educators, all have ideas around inclusion and what that looks like.  Right?  I don't know.  All to often I hear people in power (superintendent, principles, lawmakers, and such) talk about supporting an inclusive community for people with ASD while not really knowing how to implement a place that all people are welcome.


Maybe it is time for a top down approach.  What if we begin educating superintendents, principles, and lawmakers about autism and how to educate people with ASD while building a community that reaches out to all students.  Sometimes it seems that we (the autism community) spends time and money teaching the teachers about ASD, but what if we dedicated some of that energy on the people in power roles. 


I think our teachers would be more supported if our principles, superintendents, and school boards knew what the heck autism was and what it means to have an inclusive school.  Then of course our children would benefit.  Just some end of summer pondering.

It seems a “hot topic” floating around the autism listservs and online autism communities is how to teach your child on the spectrum how to ride a bike.  Every child deserves to feel the freedom of pedaling through the neighborhood or the burn of riding fast all afternoon.  Riding a bike can be difficult to learn for any child (I remember my skinned knees and elbows), but for a kid with perhaps low-muscle tone and motor planning issues it can become impossible.  

Not so says, Liliane Savard, physical therapist.  Liliane has taught kids all along the spectrum to master riding a bike and I got to interview her about her technique.  Safety first, so strap on that bike helmet even if you are practicing in your driveway so your child can become desensitized to the feeling of something on his head.  Then find a teaching bike, one that your child can sit on the seat and touch the ground with a flat foot and bent knees, and has adjustable handlebars so your child sits upright.
  

• Have confidence that your will learn to ride a bike.  Start your teaching session with good positive energy.
• Find a paved level area or a slight hill (a long driveway, quiet street, bike path, or sidewalk) for your “teaching area”.
• Eliminate distractions— clear your teaching area of toys, kids, and anything that may take away your child’s attention.
• Before beginning decide on your verbal cues that you will give. Remember less words the better, here are some examples:
• Hold handlebars tight
• Glide
• Peddle faster
• Look forward
• Peddle, peddle
• Scooter
• Push peddle back (to brake)

First begin with gliding.  Gliding is when both feet are on the ground and the child is sitting on the seat.  The child then pushes against the ground with his feet and as he gets better you can say “lift feet and glide.”  Let your child do this step for a couple weeks to build confidence.  When your child feels comfortable and brave— move on to the next step.

The next step:  place the dominate foot on the pedal in the up position and then with the other foot on the ground tell the child to push with that foot (scootering) while the pedaling foot pedals.  You will need to remind your child to lean into the scootering side.  Good practice for this exercise could be scootering on a scooter.

 Finally when your child builds enough strength, knowledge, and courage, place your hand on his back (to add some support) and have them scooter then say “lift foot and pedal, pedal, pedal”.  You may have to remind them that pedaling faster is actually easier.  Don’t be tempted to hold the handle bars or seat, Liliane says this gives false sense of security. 

Allow your child to practice these steps for several weeks to master each technique.  If your child has anxiety about bike riding little reminders about how they can ride a bike and how safe they are, can build their confidence. 

Go figure last week I using my space heater to warm my toes while I typed away at my computer in my small office space and this week the temperature is in the 90s.  Only in Vermont would it snow on Mother's Day and two weeks later be swimming weather.

The drastic change in temperature can be difficult for anyone, but especially on kiddos that have an out-of-balance sensory system.  It can cause all sorts of behavioral issues since children with autism spectrum disorder can have a sensitive sensory system.  So, finding ways to combat the behaviors through sensory regulation can be helpful.

In our case, Tristan tends to get over-heated quickly and his body does not cool fast like other kids through drinking water, sweating, or finding a shady spot.  So, as Tristan walked out of school yesterday with his bright red cheeks and sweat plastered hair, I knew action needed to be taken to cool Tristan off.  Instead of the regular after school plans, we headed straight to our new favorite swimming hole, a sandy spot on the edge of the Mad River.  

Immediately, after running into the water, Tristan's total melt-down of yelling and crying disappeared along with a stomach ache he had all day.  As the heat wave continues you will probably be able to find me most afternoons sitting beside a stretch of river and watching Tristan cool-off.  That is until the pool opens. 

Dear Families,

We have appreciated your participation in past studies and are aware that you wanted to be kept informed of additional research opportunities. The Department of Communication Sciences at the University of Vermont is currently seeking volunteers for participation in a study to examine the effect of social stories versus comic strip conversations for supporting the social understanding and successful behaviors of children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

Participants

Approximately 50 families and children with ASD will be selected to participate in this study. Children with ASD will be between the ages of 2 and 17 years.

Procedure

During the first visit, parents will be asked to complete a demographic questionnaire, the Theory of Mind Inventory and The Carey Temperament Scales (approximately 20-25 minutes total). Parents will also be provided an additional copy of the ToMI and asked to complete and return the form in a self-addressed stamped envelope in 2 or 6 weeks for the purposes of exploring test-retest reliability. Children with ASD will be asked to complete a Theory of Mind (ToM) task battery and a measure of receptive vocabulary (the Peabody Picture Vocabulary Test (PPVT)-4; approximately 20 minutes total). Parents will also be asked to participate in an interview so that we may learn about the kinds of conflicts that are experienced in the home that might be helped through intervention. A challenging situation identified by parents that occurs in the home will also be videotaped before and after intervention.

Children will be randomly assigned to one of three intervention groups: social story intervention, comic strip conversation intervention, or a combined intervention (social story plus comic strip conversation). Intervention will occur in the family’s home 3 times a week for 6 weeks during which time parents will be asked to fill out brief daily diaries that we provide (no more than 2 – 3 minutes per day).

At the end of the intervention, parents will be asked to complete the ToMI for a final time and to keep recording daily diary data for an additional 4 weeks.

If you are interested in participating or know of any other families with children with ASD who may be interested in participating, please direct inquiries to Dr. Patricia Prelock (656-2529; pprelock@uvm.edu) or Dr. Tiffany Hutchins (425-5655; thutchin@uvm.edu) at the University of Vermont. Thank you for considering this opportunity.

Sincerely,


Patricia A. Prelock, Ph.D., CCC-SLP
Co-Principal Investigator

Tiffany Hutchins, Ph.D.
Principal Investigator

Listen to the MP3 file of Speaking of Faith, Being Autistic, Being Human.  This is worth listening to.